I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
