where does the pee come out of this thing
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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