im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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