I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
