I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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