I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
