Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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