You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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