So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
