This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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