i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
