how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
