capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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