He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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