you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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