hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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