Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
