How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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