i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
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She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I smell like Dick and happiness
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize