just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
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my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
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Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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