Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I currently don't understand fingers.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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