Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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