I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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