The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
