Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
