i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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