I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Alive.
So much puke
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
