I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
