my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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