dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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