I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
