I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
