That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
