I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?