i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
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As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
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I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?