you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
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i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You pole danced in your parka.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
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You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.