it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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