i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
