You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
