What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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