The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
