LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
So. Much. Porn.
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