OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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