You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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