Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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