That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Everything about him screamed your future.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
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Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
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Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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