He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
