My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
