Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Did I show you my penis last night?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
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