Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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