I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
