Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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