if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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