I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
vagina is talking i cant
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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