Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Found the puke drawer
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
please don't ironically join a cult
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