dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
