You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
