just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize