the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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