Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
