I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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