WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize