"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
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I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
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She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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