Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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