does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize