Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Randomize
