Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
