Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
