sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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